


Falling Skywards

by alykapedia



Category: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-12
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-29 21:16:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/324254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alykapedia/pseuds/alykapedia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Take too long, and they slip away before you know it." Reborn knows all too well how it feels to fall in love with someone as unreachable as the sky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Take too long, and they slip away before you know it,” he hears himself say as his dark eyes bore down on Gamma. Reborn sees the blond man open his mouth to say something in response to his statement, but he closes off his hearing, averting his eyes just a tiny bit so his gaze falls on a random patch of forest and not on the man that reminds him so much of himself.

 

 

 

 _Reborn likes to think that he has changed, even when he hasn’t._

 

 

 _  
_

He thinks that Gamma should get a move on before Uni vanishes without a trace. He hopes that she’ll disappear with the knowledge that she’ll live on in someone’s heart.

Forever.

 

 

 

 _Reborn’s heart is unfortunately not big enough, not even for Uni. And he curses himself for that fact._

 

 

 _  
_

The dark-haired hitman raises a hand to tell the other to stop and he lets his mouth run once again and spout nonsense.

“Tell Uni before it’s too late.”

He turns around and heads back, inwardly cringing at the crunching of leaves beneath his shoes. He does not look back at Gamma’s stricken face because Reborn isn’t sure he wants to see or even know what he has missed.

 

 

 

 _Reborn has regrets. They are few but they are heavy burdens on his shoulders._

 

 

 _  
_

 

“Goodnight, Grandpa Reborn!”

The sputtering bonfire is warm; Uni’s smile is even warmer that he almost chokes on the suffocating affection he sees there. He reaches up to pull his fedora down, not wanting the girl to see the grim expression on his face.

“You’re a hypocrite,” Lal tells him simply; voice low enough so that no one would overhear, as she gracelessly sat on the scrap of dirt next to him.

“I didn’t peg you as the type to eavesdrop,” he counters easily, not even bothering to add a scathing remark.

The former COMSUBIN trainer snorts, rolling her eyes incredulously. “You weren’t exactly being discreet about it, Reborn.”

“It’s polite to leave when people are having a conversation.”

At this statement, Lal merely shrugs, eyes lazily mirroring the flickering embers. “As if you know anything about being polite…”

Reborn glances at her with a bemused expression. “Touché.”

The bonfire crackled cheerfully, releasing the earthy fumes of the numerous twigs used to feed it. A companionable silence fell over the makeshift camp even with the growing tension of the looming battle. It was a silent reprieve from the chaos the two were accustomed with and as such was welcomed with open arms.

“But is it alright? I mean, for Uni to do this…” Lal trails off, uncertain.

“Both you and I know well what her duty is and she knows that as well.” He replies briefly. Indifferently. Apathetically. Just as he should, because he can’t let his emotions bubble through the calm façade he’s perfected throughout the years…

A sigh. “I know that. But is it okay with you?”

And for not the first time in his life, Reborn is caught speechless.

“You’re more transparent than you think, you dolt. That stupid armor of yours has gotten rusty over the years.” The failed Arcobaleno explains, turning her head to face the hitman.

The pseudo-tutor stares at her blankly before turning away to chortle incredulously.

“Pfft…and you’ve gotten lady-like after all these years.”

“Shut up.”

“…”

“So?”

“So, what?”

“Reborn.”

“What do you want me to say? That I don’t want her to do it? That I can’t bear to see her going through this alone? That I hate the fact that I can’t protect her just like I can’t protect Luce or Aria?” He chokes, fighting to keep his voice in check as his mouth babbled on.

“Reborn, I—“

He shook his head, standing up from his perch near the bonfire and heading towards the dark forest that shrouded their encampment.

“I don’t want him to commit the same mistakes I did. That’s all.”

 

 

 

 

 _Reborn can’t stand it when people make the same mistakes he did. Because he knows that the world does not need any more broken-hearted idiots like him._

 

 _  
_


	2. Chapter 2

 

 _“I wonder…do you love me, Reborn?” Luce asks softly, almost in a whisper, voice light even with the crushing weight of her words. Her eyes are shining with something he dares not mistake for hope because he knows that he is not good enough for Luce and never will be._

 

 _  
_

 

Uni has a striking resemblance to Luce and sometimes, it pains Reborn to look at her. She was everything he had ever wanted and needed but she was also everything that he can’t have, no matter how hard he tries.

He is painfully reminded of this likeness when the girl approaches him one day and asks a question he has trouble answering.

It was a question he never though he would hear again.

“Say, Grandpa Reborn. Did you ever love grandma?” Uni asks earnestly, her voice pure and he hates the fact that he will grace her query with a lie.

He doesn’t answer outright, lengthening the inevitable, because he doesn’t want to answer that question truthfully, not now, not ever.

Not when the person who needs to hear the answer the most is now gone.

 “No.” Reborn lies smoothly, perfectly, like he had all those years ago.

 

 

 

 _“No.” He answers nonchalantly, lying through his teeth even as his heart clenches tightly in his chest._

 

 

 

Uni’s smile never falters, but he thinks that he sees the pain reflected in her eyes and he wants nothing more than to gather her in his arms and never let go.

But of course, it was not possible.

Not for him.

 

 

 

 _A pause and Luce laughs liltingly and he almost wants to believe that he hears a bit of sadness there._

 

 

 

“I see.” Uni mutters and nods solemnly, closing her eyes and pulling her cloak against her tightly. “I’m sorry for asking such a silly question.”

Reborn averts his gaze and tries to compose himself.

“Go back inside, it’s late and the girls are probably worrying about you.” He orders her quietly, voice devoid of any emotion even as a smile appears on his face.

He turns his back to her when he feels his façade slip and curses himself for being so weak.

Reborn fails to see the hopeful glance Uni gives him.

 

 

 

 _“Of course, how silly of me,” Luce smiles sadly, gazing longingly at Reborn’s back._

 

 

 

Uni opens her mouth to say something, anything. But nothing comes out and her heart breaks just a little when Reborn turns away from her.

“Grandpa Reborn,” She calls out, voice shaking and Uni’s eyes fill with tears waiting to be shed.

A pause and Reborn tilts his head just a little to show that he’s heard her.

“I—“ _want you to stay, please Grandpa Reborn, tell me that everything’s going to be alright, I need you right now, you were always more than enough for me, mother and grandma, we love you so much_ —

There were so many things that she wants to say and it pains her that she can’t say them.

“Good night, Grandpa Reborn.”

“Good night.”

 

 

 

 _She yearns to tell him that he was more than enough and that she loved him so, so much._

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

At the very back of his twisted mind; past the blood-stained memories and behind the brittle veneer hiding recollections of a life he does not remember having, Reborn craves for something. When he is alone and brooding, the desire nips and coils in his consciousness and when he’s in his darkest, it prods and stabs until all he wants is to break down and cry, because he’ll never get what he wants and that is a tragedy he abhors with every fiber of his being.

Reborn craves for the warmth of a family.

It’s something easily achievable, yet it has always escaped him.

Reborn thinks that life has a cruel sense of humor.

 

 

 _“What do you want to name her?” Luce asks suddenly, blue eyes regarding him warmly, a kind smile on her tired face._

 _“Aria.” Reborn breathes, dark eyes widening at the sight of the squirming child cradled in Luce’s arms. “She’ll be strong and wise as a lioness.” He continues softly under his breath, heart hammering inside his chest and Reborn’s almost afraid that he’s going to be filled with too much love and that his heart will burst any minute now._

 _The baby giggles and reaches out a chubby hand towards Reborn._

 _“I think she likes her name…Aria…” Luce boss says softly, caressing Aria’s cheek. “She looks just like you, Reborn.”_

 _“Ah, she does.”_

 _He exits the room later with Aria in his arms, presenting her to the rest of the world as Luce’s daughter._

 _And that was that._

 

 _  
_

_The next time he sees Aria is when she turns four and the only reason Reborn’s there at all is because he’s guarding the Vongola boss. He doesn’t bring her a present, and greets her only as duty dictates._

 _Still, the little girl smiles at him widely. Taking his war-roughened hand and dragging him over to the piano._

 _“Go ahead Reborn, it looks like the little signorina wants to spend time with you.” Timoteo says softly, eyes twinkling and Reborn has a feeling that the Vongola don knows the truth._

 _She plays terribly; her small hands skipping over notes and adding crescendos where they do not belong. When she finishes the piece, she looks up at him hopefully and Reborn doesn’t have the heart to refute her._

 _“You play wonderfully, signorina.” He says in brief tones, keeping his façade blank and his voice neutral._

 _“Grazie!”_

 _A giggle erupts from her lips and she grabs his hand as he turns to leave and mouths a word that has him smiling recklessly for the rest of the day._

 _‘Papa.’_

 

 _  
_

_The very next time he sees her is a complete surprise. He is in Japan, training the next Vongola don, when he sees her. She’s a grown woman now, a family of Mafioso at her beck and call, carrying a curse and expecting a child._

 _“You’ve grown, Aria.” Reborn tells her, cryptic as ever._

 _She smiles at him warmly, eyes glassy with unshed tears and even as Aria’s lips remain shut, he hears the ‘I-wish-you-were-there’._

 _He wishes that he was there as well._

 

 _  
_

_The last time he sees her is the last._

 _There is a broken sob on his lips that never escapes and a pure white lily on his hands._

 

 _  
_

“Arrivederci, mio figlia.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arrivederci, mio figlia - Goodbye, my daughter


	4. Chapter 4

**  
**

There are times when Reborn doesn’t know what to make of the pretty Giglio Nero boss. Luce perplexes him, unnerves him, throws him off of his balance and makes him think of things he normally wouldn’t think of. She looks at him with a warmth he doesn’t deserve and rewards him with a smile that someone as jaded as he is will never be worthy of.

Luce takes down every wall he puts up and breaks every rule he makes and it annoys Reborn to no end.

And most importantly, she compels him to feel emotions he should never even think of and makes him consider the possibilities, even when he knows fully well that it could never be.

 

 

 

“I want you to do something for me,” Luce declares one day, her voice light and heavy at the same time. There is a wistful smile on her face and her eyes shine with something Reborn has trouble deciphering.

He watches her underneath his fedora, wondering whether he should humor her or not. In the end, Reborn relents. He always does. “And what would that be, signora?”

“I want you to fall in love with me.” She tells him, all smiles and bright blue eyes and Reborn chokes on the sincerity of her words.

“I—can’t do that.”

“You can’t? Or maybe it is better to say that you won’t?” Her lilting tone is gone and there is hurt in her voice that shreds his heart into pieces.

“Luce.” Reborn warns her; because there are lines they shouldn’t be crossing. And he wonders as to how their conversation has led them to _this_ , has led them to something they both need and want, and has led them to something Reborn refuses to address even as the loneliness kills him every single day.

She looks away, eyes twinkling with unshed tears. “You’re so stingy at times, Reborn.” Luce says humorlessly. “You’ll just have to do something else for me then.”

“What is it?”

Luce looks at him with a broken smile and Reborn knows the words before they escape form her lips. “Smile for me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Smile for me,” she repeats, much more firmly this time. “…Unless of course you’re now willing to fall in love with me.” Her tone is teasing, but Reborn knows better than to take her words as a joke.

There is finality in her words, asking him, pleading with him one last time.

 _Please, please, please._

 

 

 

Reborn smiled.

 

 

 

 _He never tells her, but the reason he can’t fall in love with her is because he already was._

 

 

 

Outside the small cottage, the sky cried.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

She was beautiful.

 

 

 

 _He watches her like a lion would a gazelle, because it is his duty and not because he wants to. At least, that’s what he tells himself as his eyes instinctively follow the petite woman walking down the street without a single care in the world. She looks delicate, too delicate to be involved in the mafia, let alone a mafia war._

 _“There she is,” Daniela quips, following his gaze as she fiddles with her crossbow. “What do you think?”_

 _“She doesn’t look like she belongs here.” He tells her honestly, moving away from the windows._

 _“Ah, don’t let her pretty face fool you. She belongs in the battlefield as much as we do.”_

 _“Then why isn’t she?”_

 _“This war is not hers to wage.”_

 _“And it is yours?” He raises a challenging eyebrow at her, and she scoffs._

 _“The Vongola protects its allies. If it means that we have to wage war for them, then so be it.” Vongola Ottavo declares imperiously. “Your mission is to keep an eye on Luce, keep her out of the way, and make sure that she is safe. Don’t disappoint me.”_

 _He smirks. “When have I ever?”_

 _Daniela’s tinkling laughter echoed inside the room._

 

 

 

She was insane.

 

 

 

 _He curses as Luce disappears from his sight and he is frantically running down alleys to find her. He catches up to her in front of a dilapidated building where he knows an enemy party is lying in wait for an ambush. And the pretty Giglio Nero boss is walking straight into the trap._

 _He cocks his gun before he hears the child’s cries._

 _Luce is crouched low, hugging a small child to her person as a rival family’s peon aims to shoot. The man never gets the chance as he falls with thud with a bullet bearing the Vongola insignia is lodged inside his head._

 _He wastes no time in making his way to Luce, a frown set on his face. What was she thinking, running around saving little children in the middle of a mafia war?_

 _“What do you think you’re doing?” He demands, grabbing her wrist._

 _“I was saving a child!” She states the obvious and he has the sudden urge to scream in frustration. She stands up and the child runs away from them without a single word._

 _“I can see that.” He grounds out, dragging her roughly to the safe house. “You are also endangering yourself, signora. Or did you not notice the gun pointed at your head?”_

 _“…I’m sorry.”_

 

 

 

She was annoying.

 

 

 

 _He hears gunshots in the distance and he craves for the reassuring weight of a gun in his hands. A hitman like him should be out in the battlefield, not inside a safe house babysitting the boss of an ally family._

 _“So,” Luce starts, gazing at him with bright blue eyes. “What’s your name, Mr. Hitman?”_

 _“I don’t have a name, signora—“_

 _“Luce.” She reminds him._

 _“I don’t have a name, Luce. Nor do I need one.” He says through gritted teeth, eyes trained outside. “An assassin has no need for a name. He just needs to kill.” And it’s the truth, he lives to kill; nothing more, nothing less._

 _“Well that’s quite boring isn’t it?” She responds airily and there is a smile on her face that causes his heart to flutter foolishly inside his chest._

 _He clears his throat. “I beg your pardon?” Because the Giglio Nero boss has just called his line of work ‘boring’ and there is something seriously wrong with that._

 _“I’ll think up a name for you then.” She tells him happily and he shakes his head. Of course she would be concerned about his name, or rather his lack of one._

 _“You don’t have to do that, signora—“_

 _“Luce.”_

 _“You don’t have to do that, Luce.”_

 _“Oh, but I do!” Luce chirps happily and he inwardly groans._

 _It was going to be a long, long night._

 

 

 

She was unnerving.

 

 

 

 _There was something about her that he can’t exactly put his finger on. And it bothers him. Luce, unlike Daniela, did not strike him as someone who can lead a group of Mafioso. She looks like a porcelain doll; delicate, frail, and weak. Yet here she was, the boss of a small yet formidable ally family, and he wonders as to how that came to be._

 _And then Luce looks at him with piercing blue eyes and suddenly he knows._

 _She looks at him with such understanding that he feels as if she’s looking right at his very soul. He feels as if she can see everything inside his head; all his thoughts, secrets, and his fears. She looks at him like a lover would and he feels his breath taken away from his lungs._

 _She looks at him with such understanding that it scares the hell out of him._

 _This woman, whom he barely knew and who barely knew him, was looking at him as if she knew him his entire life, as if she knew his past._

 _And it scares him, terrifies him._

 _Because no one but him should carry that burden, especially not pretty mafia bosses with warm smiles and bright blue eyes._

 _So he takes the coward’s way out and stands._

 _“I’ll be standing guard outside, just in case.”_

 

 

 

She was…special.

 

 

 

 _The gunshots in the distance die down, and it isn’t long before Daniela strides inside the safe house with a triumphant smile on her face and a small box on her hand. The conflict was over, and they had won. He exits the room just as Luce stands to hug the Vongola boss._

 _And soon enough, they are at the station, finally parting ways with the Giglio Nero family and their pretty little boss._

 _“I cannot thank you enough, Daniela.” Luce says, grasping Daniela’s hands in hers. “If there comes a time that the Vongola needs help from us, we will not hesitate to provide it.”_

 _“Grazie, Luce.” Daniela replies with a soft smile. “You must hurry, my friend. Your famiglia eagerly awaits your return.”_

 _Luce laughs, sweet and pure. “Of course, but first…” She trails off and her gaze lands on him. “I think I’ve thought up the best name for you, Mr. Hitman.”_

 _He blanches inwardly. She was serious about that?_

 _“I’ve told you, signora, I do not require a name.”_

 _“I beg to differ,” Daniela quips and he gives her a withering glare._

 _“And I have told you to call me Luce,” she scolds him lightly. “I think that the name ‘Reborn’ would suit you well.”_

 _A small silence follows and he is speechless. What was he supposed to say in this situation?_

 _“Reborn. I like it, it’s much easier to say than the ‘man with the fedora’” The Vongola boss adds her two cents before finally retreating inside the train with a small laugh and a kiss to Luce’s cheek._

 _Luce frowns. “Do you hate it?”_

 _“No.”_

 _“May I call you ‘Reborn’, then?” She asks him sincerely and he has the sudden urge to laugh incredulously._

 _“Of course, Luce,” Reborn tells her with the slightest of smiles. “You may.”_

 

 

 

 _“Take care, Daniela!” Luce bellows over the sound of the train’s engine. “You too, Reborn! Oh! And try smiling more; you look much more handsome when you smile!”_

 _Daniela laughs, waving at the Giglio Nero boss as the train leaves the station. Next to her, Reborn tugs down at his fedora, a smile tugging incessantly at his lips._

 

 

 

 

 

And it was then that Reborn knew that he would be cursed to love Luce for the rest of his life.

 

 

 

 

 

Somewhere in the Tuscan countryside, Reborn stands alone with a bouquet of pure white lilies cradled in his arms.

There is a bitter smile on his lips and his eyes shine with tears that he has long forgotten to shed.

“I know it’s late but…”

He looks up to the sky and says the words he’s been itching to say all those years.

 

 

 

 

 

 _“Ti amo, Luce.”_

 _  
_


End file.
